I've been to a lot of parties lately where just about everyone seems to ask me, "And what do you do?" After about the tenth time answering this question, it got to be too much. Let's just say it irks me....so I now that I have all this time on my hands, I've come up with my very own top ten list of responses to this perennial question. Feel free to add to the list if inspiration strikes!
Hope you get a few laughs -- I know I did,
Meredith
TEN RESPONSES TO THE QUESTION: "AND WHAT DO YOU DO?" AFTER YOU’VE BEEN LAID OFF
By Meredith Janson
- Put them in their place with a bit o’ diva attitude: "I’m a Renaissance woman…I do everything well."
- Practice denial: "I work for Oxygen Media" (then hope they don’t ask too many questions).
- Enlist sympathy: "I send resumes out all day into an abyss and cry myself to sleep at night."
- Pretend you’re hard of hearing: "I’m fine! And how do you do?"
- Try scare tactics: "I’m enrolled in flight school. By the way, have you seen the slides yet from my summer vacation in Kabul?"
- Use the old stand-by: "I’m writing the great American novel. Right now, I got it all up here (pointing to your head)."
- Feign mental disturbance: "I’m cultivating the perfectly arched eyebrow (or fill in the blank: perfectly clean belly-button; perfectly symmetrical toenails; perfect answering machine greeting). I’m finding it’s a full-time pursuit."
- Bare your inner hedonist: "I like to loll around nude on my couch, pick my nose and watch Oprah while scarfing chocolate-chip cookie dough and re-painting my toenails for the fourth time in one week."
- Be direct: "I hike, I read, I sing, I laugh, sometimes I cry, I make love, I cook, I clean, I shop, I think, I drive, I daydream, I doodle, I talk…there are many things I do. Shall I list them all?"
- Tell ‘em what Miss Manners would say: "Didn’t anyone inform you that it’s rude to ask that question when half the country’s lost their jobs? Where were you raised – in a barn?"
